TRISTAN SHERWIN

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READ: LUKE 5: 1-11 (The First Disciples)

NO HUFF AND NO PUFF

As I’ve been reading this story this past week, I have found myself drawn to Peter’s protest in verse 8b; “Get away from me, Jesus; I’m too much of a sinner to be around you.”

At first, I admired this confession—I’ve said it myself on many occasions. But the more I prayed on it, the more I realised how bold this statement is. And it is a bold, theological statement. We may not catch the gravity of it at first, but Peter’s not just making a statement about himself here; he’s making a statement about Jesus, and by extension, God.

According to Peter’s theology, there is a threshold in God’s economy, which when crossed, you enter into a realm where you become unwelcome, seen as irredeemable, or only fit for destruction (in some people’s minds).

He’s obviously having a rough day—and I’m aware that this encounter with Jesus, and the miracle that erupts as part of that encounter, has obviously challenged Peter and brought to light some things that he would have preferred to remain hidden. But Peter’s ideas about God are bad ideas because he is allowing his sin, or how he feels about his sin, to shape his portrait of God.

He’s not alone.

If we go into the Prophets, Isaiah records having an extraordinary vision of God on his throne (see Isaiah 6:1-13). It’s an overwhelming experience for Isaiah—it’s one that would rightly fill anyone with a sense of awe and reverence. But when Isaiah realises where he is, he too wants to get out. Like Peter, he has this idea that he’s too much of a sinner for God—“I have unclean lips, and I live with unclean people”, Isaiah says. And because of this awareness of his sin, he claims that God will be his undoing. Or to put that as most translations do, “I’m going to be destroyed!”

Again, that’s a bold, theological statement. God, Isaiah believes, is going to kill him because he’s sinful. No wonder he wants to run. Both Peter and Isaiah are afraid of God.

They’re not alone.

Way back in Genesis Three, when Adam and Eve eat from the Tree of The Knowledge of Good and Evil, their reception to God’s presence also changes. And when God comes to them that evening and he can’t find them, God asks, “Where are you?”. Adam’s reply is very revealing. He says, “We heard you coming, and we were afraid because we were naked, so we hid.”

They’re not afraid of being naked, they’re afraid of God. Of course, there’s a sense in which fear  means to be in awe, to have reverence for, to show honour and respect, and yes, God is majestic, glorious, splendid in every way and worthy of our reverence. But that’s not the kind of fear that has gripped them—they’re not in awe, they are terrified. You don’t run and hide from something unless you believe its intent is to harm you. They have somehow come to the conclusion that because they are naked, God’s intentions and affections for them have changed.

In a way, Peter’s and Isaiah’s confessions are really an echo of Eden. An echo that, I guess, most us have repeated. But it’s an echo which reveals that Sin has warped our portrait of God—like Adam and Eve, we’ve bought into the serpent’s lie that God’s intentions cannot be trusted.

I’m going to call this way of thinking ‘The Three Little Pigs Syndrome.’ I’m sure you know the story. There’s a Big Bad Wolf that is on the prowl and who wants to devour the three, succulent little pigs. And if they don’t let the Wolf in, even if they refuse to do so by the hairs of their ‘chinny-chin’ chins, then the Big Bad Wolf is going to huff, and he’ll puff and he’ll blow their house down.

As the story develops, in order to protect themselves from this huffing and puffing, the pigs barricade and enclose themselves into harder and harder houses. They’re right to do so—the Big Bad Wolf will be there undoing. However, God’s not like the Big Bad Wolf. But when we believe in the lies that say God has come to harm us, we will lock God out, and enclose ourselves, and allow our hearts to become harder and harder against God. To the extent that we will eventually say silly things like, “I’m too much of a sinner to be around God.”

That’s what sin does—this is what Sin is. Sin doesn’t change how God looks at us, or feels about us. Sin changes the way we feel about God. And this is huge problem, because humanity was made to bear God’s image in the world—but if our idea of God distorts, then we subsequently start testifying to and manifesting things that aren’t true of God. We begin to tell a story of an unreceptive God, a terrifying God, who looks more like the Big Bad wolf than Jesus Christ.

To go back to the stories I’ve just mentioned: God’s heart for Adam and Eve hadn’t changed. God hadn’t come to kill them. In Isaiah’s vision, God wasn’t going to be his undoing. And in Peter’s epiphany, he wasn’t too far gone.

Nowhere in any of these experiences, does God say ‘I am too Holy for you’; it’s them saying that God is too Holy for them, that they are too sinful, and that what they need to do is get out of God’s presence. It’s their expectations of God that is at fault, not God. Their sin is defining God.

NOT TOO SINFUL. WE’RE TOO SIN FOCUSED

Our sin is not a problem for God, it doesn’t affect God; it’s a problem for us, it plagues us. It ensnares us, lies to us and pays out in death because it keeps us running away from the only thing that is able to help us. It tricks us into locking God outside of our lives. And so when God turns up, we run, we hide, or we shrink away; not out of respect or in awe of God, but because we’re trying to ‘save ourselves’ from God.

To be perfectly blunt, “I’m too much of a sinner to be around God” is terrible theology. When we say such things, we’re saying that God can’t reach me, God can’t love me, God can’t touch me. Where putting limits on God. In a round-a-bout way, what we’re saying is that “we are too “other” [to holy] for God.”

We’re actually saying, “God, you can’t be in my presence.” And in our perceived “holiness”, in our sense of being so separate from God, we therefore push God out and tell God to stay away, and then divorce ourselves from whatever God wants to do—which only magnifies the problem further.

Saying “I’m too much of a sinner” is sinful: instead of imaging God, we’re speaking falsely about God. And we’re also presenting a false image of ourselves; we’re saying that our unfaithfulness is more enduring than God’s faithfulness.

But what I love in all these stories is that God never allows these people to keep living with this bad theology and presenting that sort of image of God into the world. In each case, God shows them that they do not have to be afraid. Or to use Jesus’s response to Peter, “Do not Fear!”

Ever since Eden, this phrase is one of God’s most frequent greetings. It’s telling that God has to say this so often when encountering humanity.

It’s important that we grasp the weight of these words, though, because if we don’t, we’ll misunderstand our encounters with God.

You see, Adam and Eve, Isaiah, and Peter wrongly make themselves the focus of their encounter with God.

What I mean by that is, they believe that they are having a revelation about how sinful they are (and yes, they become aware of this). But they’re actually about to have a revelation of God. They’re not learning about their nature—but God’s nature; because we can only reflect God’s image by knowing that image, otherwise we just continue in Sin and project lies about God.

To put that into context …

Adam and Eve believe God is going to harm them because they’re naked—but God doesn’t conform to their beliefs. Instead, God calls them back into relationship and then clothes their nakedness willingly of his own accord. Isaiah believes he’s going to be undone; that his destruction is sealed, that he’s not getting out of this one alive. But then God, voluntarily (not because Isaiah asks him to), touches Isaiah’s lips, removes his guilt, forgives his sins and then graciously invites Isaiah to be a conduit for God’s plans. Peter believes he is too far gone, that God can’t be near him—but Jesus summons him to let go of his fear and calls him to follow him. Peter expects God to abandon him, but God doesn’t conform to Peter’s expectations: God calls Peter to be near to him, to learn from him and to participate in what he is doing.

We need to grasp this (I need to grasp this). All of them, acting out of their ‘Three Little Pigs Syndrome’, hold to this image of a “Big Bad Wolf” who is going to consume them. But God gives them another revelation altogether: God consumes them with divine mercy and divine faithfulness. They’re not rejected, they’re embraced. Where they expect to perish is actually the place where they really start to live.

It’s not God who comes to kill, or steal, or destroy—to quote Jesus—that’s the enemy. God comes to give us life! (John10:10). Jesus does not want us to be consumed by our bad theology. Like Peter, we also need to hear Jesus’ voiceas it tells us, ‘Do not be afraid!’

DO NOT BE AFRAID

There’s a famous verse in 1 John 4: 18 that we all know, “perfect love casts out all fear”.

John’s not talking about fear in general—he’s not giving a tip on how to get over being nervous, or advice for those who are too scared to attempt sky-diving or para-sailing. His context is our relationship with God.

He goes on to write that, “If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced [God’s] perfect love.” Or as some translations word it, “God’s love has not been perfected in us.”

In other words, if we’re afraid of God then it’s because we’re not fully persuaded by God’s love for us. If we’re afraid, it’s because we don’t trust God’s intentions; we’re not convinced that there is nothing to be afraid of. We still hold to this skewed, idolatrous idea that God is a monster who is out to get us.

And that fear could be there for many reasons. Sometimes, the church has even helped promote it. It’s amazing the insights that come out of conversations I have in work. One that regularly pops up is; “that the only thing the church taught me is how to feel guilty and afraid.” This is a shame, because we’ve often led people to Peter’s theology in this passage, and not to Jesus’ theology.

We have to ask ourselves, do we trust in our impressions of God, or even other people’s impressions of God, or do we trust in God’s revelation of his nature through Jesus?

Do not be afraid! You are not too much of a sinner for God.

Of course, Peter’s protest sparks an important question in our heads: Is there anyone who is too much of a sinner?

The good news is, that within the chapters that follow this encounter with Peter, Luke continues to tell stories of Jesus encountering people that his culture deemed too far gone, or even cursed by God, and again and again the resounding answer to our paranoia is “No. No there isn’t”. Even at the climax of this story—as Jesus is being crucified, as people throw abuse at him, and as soldiers gamble for his clothes—Jesus cries out “Father, forgive them…” (Luke 23:34).

You might dare to think that you’re that rare exception; the worst. But even this doesn’t place you outside of God’s loving intent for your life. The Apostle Paul referred to himself as the ‘chief of sinners’ (1 Timothy 1:15), but he never once claimed to be beyond God’s reach. Actually, in the context of this verse, Paul says the opposite. In verse 16, Paul’s goes onto to say that it was because he was the worst of sinners that God reached out to him, in order that he would be the prime example of how patient, how long-suffering, how enduring God’s love is. “Then”, he says,“others will realise that they, too, can [trust] in [God] and receive eternal life. [i]

Again, you are not too much of a sinner for God—there’s no such thing!

You may have realised that you’ve not mirrored God’s likeness, and that’s not a bad position to arrive at. It’s an important step. But that’s certainly not where God wants to leave you, and neither is it the revelation that God wants to leave you with (as if the only thing God’s want you to see is more of yourself!).

What God wants you to see is what God is like; and where God wants you to be is in partnership with God.

What I love in this story is that Jesus doesn’t leave Peter in a state of fear and trembling.This story doesn’t end with Peter’s wailing or Peter’s testimony of God. It ends with Peter willingly following Jesus because he is captivated by Jesus’ testimony of God.

And so if you walk away in fear after the meeting today, something has gone awry—you’ve listened to yourself (or others, as thecase may be), and not to the Spirit of God. On other the hand, I’m not saying that the intent today is that you walk away feeling happy either. The goal is, that instead of hiding from God, or running away from God, you walk away trusting in God’s embrace. And that all of us will walk away with a deeper desire tolearn about God’s nature and a desire to be involved in what God is up to.

SCRIPTURE FOR FURTHER REFLECTION:

Psalm 138

ENDNOTES:

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[i] 1 Tim 1: 16b NLT, (square brackets mine).